Pages

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ignorant Photo of The Week: 4 - Those People...

This is why 8:30 classes are so hard to attend. Its bad enough that you have to wake up at obscene hours of the day to prepare to go beforehand and walk to your lecture hall, but when you get there you realize that most of the other people there are half-sleeping like you. Except for the few like above. They are the ones who make our lives miserable by flaunting their 10:00 pm bedtimes, 8 hours of sleep and 10 hours of study a day so that they can ask the most ridiculously complex questions they derived from combining the first 10 terms they highlighted in chapter you haven't reached yet. The worst part is that their questions take up half the class so that all your prof can cover is the recap of last class. So for those keeping score at home thats: You - 4 hours of sleep, no new knowledge and a dreading mix of inadequacy/ jealousy; Them - 8 hours of sleep, deveopment of strange theories and the delusions of complete enlightenment. -_- .

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Album Review: Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

As you should all now by  know Mr. West has created what he thinks is "THE BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME". His first album since the auto-tune infused 808 & Heartbreaks in 2008 is truly a change of pace for both his career and the current hip hop scene dominated by instant internet hits and Lil Wayne's Young Money group. While Kanye was always known to heavily sample older songs in his amazing production, he has now expanded past funk and Motown sounds to include the likes of Black Sabbath and King Crimson. With his intense attention to detail Kanye's intricate production will delight his old fans and entice new ones. He has truly become the Hip Hop idol that can touch any part of pop culture and turn it into gold.

The album truly plays like a masterpiece that should be listened to in sequence, from the enthralling Dark Fantasy with Nicki Minaj's intro, to the crazed Gil Scott-Heron sampled outro on "Who Will survive in America". Highlights in between include the awesome flow of "Gorgeous" with GOOD Music star Kid Cudi and Wu Tang alum Raekwon as they rhyme over a creeping baseline. "All of the Lights" is a powering mosaic of diverse sounds - powerful horns, pounding drums and even a feature by the likes of Elton John. "Devil in a New Dress" is a wonderful mix with a Smokey Robinson sampled backtrack while Rick Ross comes on at the end of the track and actually manages to provide a good verse for once. Finally, "Blame Game" has John Legend and a magical piano melody while Mr. West diversifies his flow as the song proceeds, yet the Chris Rock feature seems somewhat tasteless and out of place. All in all, this album contains some of West's best lyrical content and definitely his most grandiose deliverance. If you want the winner of that Grammy for Best Album of the year, there are fewer more  complete albums in the running.

10 Swag Juice Bottles/10

Wikipedia
iTunes

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Group Members That Annoy You

Hey guys, just finished two group projects involving presentations and I tell you that they can be awesome. You get to know cool people, collaborate and make something and look back and celebrate together once it's done. We all, however, have worked at least once with someone who annoys everyone else to the point that we wouldn't mind holding meeting in suburban Kandahar if it meant they couldn't make it. I find that amongst my last foes in the world of group projecting have contained the 5 following qualities:

1. Gauge. May seem like a strange word to pick, but I feel that the first thing these forsaken individuals do is gather each member together so that they can scoop out all of our sanity and privacy away by asking an insane amount of questions about ourselves. I mean way beyond basic contact info of cell number or email, I'm talkin average sleep duration and favourite meal time. They suggest they need it so we can plan meetings, but you know they have a much more sinister plan.

2. Annoy. While you may not have realized off the bat with some of these people, you have now seen that something is clearly wrong, Perhaps its from the number of times their parents dropped them on the head when they were young, but it definitely means that they are up your lower colon with non-stop questions every minute, on the minute. You get sequences of texts, repeated facebook messages and my favourite the "What was the answer on lecture 3, slide 5, table 1, line 4? And to make sure I know you got this text me back :)))))))))". -_-

3. Instigate. You are now a week in to your two week project and tempers are beginning to show. Your other group members know you went to high school with this crazy b*^%# and ask you for proper coping mechanisms as the criminal at large has dropped 50 angry emails to those unfortunates that came 1 minute late to a meeting and forgot to print off the last page...even though they already finished their part and had 3 midterms, 2 labs and 4 quizzes.

4. Lie. Ahhhh. My favourite, and as we begin to see what Dr. Phil Collins, citing Mrs. Lauper, and calls true colours of the perpetrator. You know about that time you told them you were going to spend you're entire Friday organizing the 50 odd references? No you remember stating that the group could meet up on the Friday to review the paper and complete the menial task before the group decides to cancel the meeting because editing can be done individually. So you sleep in on a Friday, wake up to 12 different texts from the liar questioning you're allegiance to the group, sign onto skype before putting on pants and still half asleep and quickly message them with you're deepest apologies over missing the meeting that didn't happen and how you are ready to take on anything they give you in penance. Of course, they have taken it upon them self to do the noble work of renumbering the embedded references and reply with the classic "Its a one person job, but you can read through and edit the entire thing before submitting it". Why did I even wake up?

5. Escape. You are finally done submitting the answers and presenting to the prof. Your group goes out for a celebratory lunch, even with individual responsible for the drama inducing atrocities. Everyone is happy, till you get the mark back and get deflated as its at least 5% lower than you thought, so you go leader mode and request a meeting to the prof and make it happen. Everyone meets up before the meetings and grieves together over missed chances but conclude that those guilty of the mark losses were right in feeling bad, but ultimately the group loses. There is no I in team, and we are all responsible for that mark. Sadly, the hell-spawn demon has taken it upon themselves to spread word that it is your fault for losing "a lot of marks"through the gossip wire. They have gotten their way and have escaped with only minimal hard feelings as all other group members are focused on the mark. Yet they still have the guts to smile with you all, before besmirching your effort and character to anyone that will listen because neither you nor the TA understood something you've never seen specific to an article.  UHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Well, there you have it in plain sight. These people are in lincoln park out there and they will find you, so proceed to hide your loved ones.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

My Life Is Ignorant (MLII): Week 1

Greetings good people of the swag juice community,

As you are well aware, MK47, Jay C and myself always appreciate a little bit of ignorance in our lives... gives you something to shake your head at from time to time.

From personal observation, I have collaborated a sum of ignorant situations over the past several days which I thought would be ideal to share with you:

- Earlier last week, I went to a local Tim Horton's just to chill, do some studying, and perhaps pick off some doses of ignorance from fellow citizens ignorant of the fact that I was listening to them. Sure enough, the girl at the counter informs a customer she knows that she wants to quit working and go burn in hell. Apart from almost staining my study notes with coffee, I had to admire her sense of ignorance. MLII.

- This reminds me of a time a few years ago back at home when I experienced a middle aged man storm past those annoying, persistent Air Cadets outside of a Tim Hortons, proceed into the coffee shop, obnoxiously mutter " F****IN AIR CADETS!$)@!# " and then order a large coffee with 4 sugars. ...who orders 4 sugars in their coffee!??! MLII.

- I've been slacking for quite some time on modifying my resume... a critical tool required in exposing yourself to experiences in university that'll set you apart from the guy scoring A's and wearing a hole through his chair, locked in his residence room. To envoke guilt upon myself that I need to get on that resume, I've posted notes on my desktop saying "RESUME!!!!" ...thanks to the combination of uncontrolled laptop periods and Jay C, I've returned to my laptop lately to see "RESUME touching myself" in a number of places on my screen. ...Don't get any ideas. MLII.

- Sitting in the library earlier today, 4 bright-minded "future engineers" at the table next to me triggered a conversation for some strange reason about whether Legolas would be able to kill orcs without his bow. For some forsaken reason, one of the fellows imposed his knowledge that Legolas carries a 14" dagger with him, so would obviously be successful by using this in combat. Whenever something in inches is thrown into a conversation with university engineering students... you can probably figure out what that leads to. MLII.

- The Sabres beat the Leafs 3-1 last Friday. For some reason I find the success of my favourite hockey team's continuous beat down on the Leafs rather ignorant. MLII.

Peace guys! Get back to you soon with more explorations of the ignorant philosophy.

Feel free to throw some quick feedback back at this, or comment with your own ignorant doings because we're always interested to hear your opinions!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Top 5 Ways to Mess Up a Presentation

So today I had a presentation for one of my courses which was worth 25% and even though our group had worked for many weeks, I still had butterflies make that mothra floating in my stomach.I usually don't get too anxious before presentation but this was a big one and I was starting it off for my group so I had to make a great first impression. Anyways, as I usually do when feeling nervous about something, I began to think of the amazing humour that could come from just absolutely screwing it up in a horrifying manner. So hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husbands because its about to get messy:

1. Forget your points without any cue cards to refer to. You were the smart one right? You don't need to write down your ideas because your memory has more gigabytes of space than your computer's. So how come the transition to your first slide results in the loss of everything from the name of your girlfriend to the number of people in your presentation group. You promptly make things up on the spot and look like a fool, or act cool and break into an interpretive dance like your all alone. Great job Champ.

2. Forget to start talking when your slide appears. Ok, maybe you were imagining the perfect entrance, full of charisma and charm. Too bad you fell asleep at the wheel and didn't notice your group staring at you with eyes about to explode. You quickly run to the front of the group, only to trip over that shoe lace you were fixated on while day dreaming. The prof proceeds to initiate face-palm, twice.

3. Mix up your points and diagrams. You spent all night before the big day making an awesome diagram on PowerPoint explaining the mating habits of the honey bee. You, however, get no sleep and arrive to class just in time for the presentation. Half way into your spiel about why honey bees live a single life, you shockingly realize that all you've said is wrong, everything. You get light headed, twirl on the spot and faint as the paramedics tell you as you awake that even they knew about honey bee mating. Rough

4. You've timed your slides on PowerPoint at exact intervals. Hey why click the arrow button if it will do it automatically, or so you think. You fail to realize that after 5 hours of perfecting the synchronization between slides that one second could be the difference. So when your presenting and get distracted by that creepy guy in the front who laughs menacingly, you lose your spot and shoot out words like a machine gun to catch up before jumping on a desk and breaking into hysterical tears of "why me?" then entering catatonic shock. Hilarious!

5. Show up late. We've all dreamed this, hearing the alarm go off and realizing you set it 4 hours later than you wanted. You run to class, throwing people from bikes and start taking hostages lest you be threatened with a small mark penalty. Finally arriving to class you barge in, leap to the front and start releasing all forms of random excuses mixed with a Shakespearean ode to your drastic measures to overcome your plight. Sadly, your group is at the back of the class waiting to go next, knowing that your dramatic entrance has cost them 50% of their participation marks... and their dignity. Smooth.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Exam/Test Coming up? Consider this next time you're studying!


Click on image to expand



Ignorant Photo of The Week: 2

Optimism at its best: 1925 City of the Future Prediction for 1950

1950: So much for solving congestion in the modern city. FAIL


2010: Well this is embarrassing... 50 more years? So much for living to see the future Double-Face-Palm -_- 


Come on humanity, lets pick up our act! We can do it, just look at Masdar City in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Lebron James ... Seriously, What Should he do?


For those of you who have not yet seen the Lebron James "Rise" commercial, take a look:


Now that you've seen the original, take a look at Cavs fans' answer to Lebron:


And of course, South Park is always up to date on whatever is going on so they decided to take a few shots at Lebron as well:



And again:



Anyone else loving this, or is it just me?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why University is Awesome

Today was not a good day. I had some problems with finishing projects, caused a slight bacterial outbreak in my lab that caused my TA to squawk (not scream, but like a bird call)loudly and found out the test i thought i killed...killed me. DOH!

Oh well, for some reason when I return to my room and prepare for bed I look back and think how great the day actually was. I may have screwed up a test, but thanks to profs that expect it to happen I can drop that test and write a 80% exam (Yay...I hope). I also did great in another subject that is taught by a German prof who could't explain 1+1=2 to a child without confusing himself. Victory is mine? Not quite but I'll take it because this is how University functions, they throw as many punches at you and see if you fall. If you do, well then you drop out and work as a manager at McDonald's, but if you can stand in there take the blows and come out with your head up you'll be rewarded with the ability to change the world by doing something you love. Ultimately, who cares if I nearly failed a mid-term I could still run for office and win, or find the cure to any disease out there.

I would be selling University short if I stopped there though, because its so much more and this is what makes any day great when I'm here. I had dinner with a friend and went over ridiculous stories from the weekend, bursting out in laughter and nearly sending a potato flying. Even in a lab in which I almost caused a centrifuge to explode by forgetting a lid, I got learn awesome things in my field of study with awesome lab mates who are as confused as I am. And when I got back to my dorm for the day, I was greeted by people who want to discuss the day. Again this is why University is life changing, a true nexus of social life and work life. The people you meet here are the close friends you have forever because you live, work, play, win, fail, laugh, run, drink, party and do stupid stuff with on a Saturday night. You come together to understand what's going on in this world and you discover that nothing is realer, more meaningful than the fun times you share learning about each other.

So that's life of a undergrad student, we're a mashed up network of people thrown together into a mess of school work and overlapping egos, but after 4 years we come out of that blender with a ticket to a job and a network of countless, life-long friends.

Life's Good...Cheers!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Why The Baltimore Ravens Will Beat the Atlanta Falcons

Its the battle of the birds, but more importantly a battle for dominance in each team's respective division and conference in this exciting inter-conference match up. There are many parallels between these teams, two of the best in the league, but the question Thursday night will be which team is able to take advantage of the others differences.

Offense

One of the starkest similarities between the teams is that of the quarterbacks that will be leading their teams onto the field in the Georgia Dome. Both Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan have been successful since being drafted in the first round 3 years ago and started playoff games in their rookie season. Since then they have grown into great young quarterbacks in the NFL and have positioned their teams into divisional crowns this year with eerily similar passing numbers (Flacco - 60.8%-1917 yds.-12 TD, Ryan - 62.5%-1949 yds.-13 TD). Both have been very good in the last 3 games with 250+ yards in 5/6 and a ridiculous 14-2 TD:INT ratio combined over that span. It will come down how well Flacco can abuse the weak 26th ranked Falcon pass defense, and if Ryan will struggle with veteran pick artist Ed Reed back and healthy in the Ravens secondary.

Both teams posses multi-back run games that will help to open up the big pass for their offense. Atlanta's Michael Turner is doing a great job this year of running inside and with Jason Snelling filling in when needed, have led the Falcon's to the 6th best rushing yards per game in the NFL. For Baltimore, star back Ray Rice is healthy and beginning to show off his multi-purpose skills while Willis McGahee has already added 4 TDs with tough rushes up the middle and in the red-zone. Ultimately, both teams will rely early on their rush game but look for Baltimore to struggle against a stout Atlanta front seven, while the Falcons may have a big day if Turner can duplicate the results of fellow physical running back Peyton Hillis when Cleveland faced Baltimore (144 yds-1TD).

Baltimore receivers Anquan Boldin and Derrick Mason should both be expected to have good days against a weak Atlanta secondary. Look for Flacco to use this advantage to strecth the field and open up running lanes for later in the game. The Falcons' Roddy White is having a terrific year, but Ryan may struggle to hit him for the big plays we've been seeing this year if Reed can shadow his side of the field to help the cornerback and provide double-coverage. This may lead to more open looks for Tony Gonzalez, but the aging Tight End has been inconsistent this year and struggle getting open downfield against a fast Ravens defense.

Defense

As mentioned above, both teams defenses feature units that are capable of stopping drives and providing the offence with good field position. The Ravens have seemingly always been a great defensive team, but have slipped abit this year against both the pass and run. They have been beaten up by strong, inside runners and will have to worry about the physical presence Turner gives the Atlanta rushin attack. The return of Ed Reed has boosted the pass defence with more timely interceptions. A strong overall front will be needed to stop a Falcons offense, but look for a great game from the entire unit as they plug up the offense like Pittsburgh and Philidelphia did in the 2 Falcon losses.

The key for the Falcons defense will be stopping the run and forcing Baltimore into 3rd and long situations. They have only allowed one opponent to score more than 30 pts this year, but the Ravens have the run game to manage the clock in a close game. It will really come down to whether or not the Falcons secondary can capitalize on Baltimore's deep ball and cause turnovers or sacks on 3rd down. The problem with that conclusion is that Baltimore has a great offensive line, with standout LT Michael Oher, and Atlanta struggles to get to the quarterback so look for Flacco to stay in the pocket and carve up the defense with accuracy like he did against Miami (74.1 cmp. %)

Final Verdict

I expect this game to be close through the first 3 quarters, but look for Baltimore to pull away in the 4th with a mix of strong running and pin-point passing as they convert on long drives to run out the clock for the victory:

Baltimore 24 - Atlanta 17

(All stats courtesy of ESPN)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

High School experience vs. University Preparation

All throughout High School you are told to work hard, volunteer, get involved so that you have the credentials needed to get accepted into the one university that you've always dreamed of attending... well, here's the truth ... It's all bs.

Don't be so quick to disagree with me, I will walk you through the reasons why I think that's the case.

Let me start off with a reality check, universities really don't care how many volunteer hours you have done and where you have done them, as long as you have done the minimum hours required to graduate Secondary School. For example, I had 40 volunteer hours, while some of my friends had 3000+. Where are they now? In the same university I'm in. Which program? Same program I am in. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't volunteer or get involved, many students enjoy volunteering and are very involved in there community. However, what I am saying is that you shouldn't kill yourself doing so, nor should you force yourself to do so if you do not enjoy it.

Many of the world's top universities require you to volunteer and separate yourself from the pack, schools like Harvard for example, but let's face it, the majority of us will not apply to Harvard, nor do we have the money to afford it.

What about scholarships? Sure, you can get a scholarship, oh by the way did I mention you need to be blessed with amazing athleticism or intelligence to even be considered?

Are you still with me? It is not worth sacrificing your time in high school worrying about volunteering and extracurriculars when in reality it really is not necessary. Once you are accepted into university, you are no different then the thousands of students who are there as well. You really do start from scratch.

What it comes down to is the marks. Do you have the grades and the average to be accepted into the program you have applied to? If you do, well rest assured you are likely to get in regardless of what you have done, where you have done it, and how much of it you have done.

Keep it True

People go to university as a stepping stone to make somethin' of themselves and gain a solid educational base to build upon for pursuing post secondary school or move forth into a career

Take MK47 for example. This swaggified hustla's just keepin it real, makin his way in the biochem scene to get to the next level in the scientific community. Respects to MK47 for doin your thang.

Then you got those other guys who are in university so all them other college foos can brush their shoulders off when they found out how hard they've been tearin up UNI!! Just has an element of legitness that you cant touch if you aint there. Good for them. Gotta go hard on the studies in order to do that though...

The original MK47 and JayC collaborated with your almighty freshness to represent the hardworking, enjoyable good life with the symbol of swag.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t925JwYXhVA (Insert swag juice).

That being said, you may have recognized the 'damn this guy's cool' cockiness that came out of those lines.... or just thought 'damn what the hell is this guy TELLING ME???' The basis of it is ignorance ...very complex philosophy which has been mastered in our lifestyles and will hopefully wear off on you in this blog.
We lay the ground rules of the swag persona by keepin it real with our fresh acts of ignorance and stayin on top of the game (whether it be studying or partying).

An Introduction of Sorts: What This Blog Is About Part 1

Hi there and welcome to The Swag Juice Corporation, brewing the important things in life since 2010.

Let me say on behalf of my colleagues how excited we are to have you the reader visit our new blog. I would like to take this time to introduce you to the the goals of this blog and the types of posts that we will be writing. Firstly, our main goal is to write about things that impact our current times, that is the lifestyle of up and coming students who like to work hard and play hard, and are relevant to you the reader. We promise that each article will have a fully organic view of these issues and ideas because we are writing about our own personal experiences and thoughts. There will be times when we use or advertise third-party information, but this will only be used when trying to prove a point with logical statistics or offer a product that you may be interested in. Obviously, we will only use external items that relate to the content of this blog and fall into our value-system. Ultimately, we want you the reader to find a mixture of purpose and fun in this blog, so by all means comment and let us know what you do or do not enjoy so that we can optimize your experience.

Now to the fun stuff; What exactly are 3 university kids writing about:

1. School Life: Classes that interest us and their cool ideas, Classes that bore us to death and wreak havoc on our GPA so much so that we feel justified in a rant or two, and the issues that we as young adults face in getting through "The Institutions".

2. Extracurriculars: The stuff that goes on after class ends for the day, from awesome intramural sports and clubs to the local party scene and after-parties to the random stuff that only our age group seems to run into on a consistent basis.

3. Sports: All of us here at Swag Juice Corporation have a passion for sports, from basketball to hockey to football to soccer to anything really. Think of our editorials as an unbiased ESPN (AKA Less articles on why Brett Farve retiring/not retiring/semi-not-retiring is an important thing)

4. Global and National News and Interests Pieces: We all happen to come from the cool (literally and figuratively) country of Canada, home of the greatest comedians and hockey players around,  so we may be just the tiniest biased when we ponder who the greatest country in the world is. That being said we are global citizens that are always interested in why and how the world works like it does.

5. Ignorance: A relatively unique concept that has been brewing in our minds for the last couple of years. Let me just say this isn't you grandmother's classic ignorance. Our's is a wide-ranging and twisted look on the old term and how it relates to all the nonsensical, farcical and un-freaking-beliveable things that humans manage to accomplish when their brain turns off.

So that's what you can expect from us whether you read us on the blog or subscribe to our RSS feed. Hopefully it will be something that brightens your day with humour (note Canadian spelling and learn to love it our international friends) or makes you stop and wonder what the point of this all is.

Again thank you very much for reading and comeback whenever you can!
Cheers,
The Swag Juice Corporation Staff of Writers